Feeling our Grieving: A Somatic Approach with Marina

Feeling overwhelmed by grief? Struggling to find peace after a significant loss? Join Holistic Life Coach Nina Danilee as she interviews renowned somatic coach Marina on the powerful connection between grief and the body. In this episode, we delve into the unique challenges we face when dealing with grief, and explore how somatic practices can provide a transformative path to healing.

Grief is often viewed as a purely emotional experience, but as Marina explains, it deeply affects our physical bodies. Somatic healing recognizes that unresolved grief can manifest as tension, tightness, and even physical ailments. By addressing the body's response to loss, we can unlock deeper layers of emotional healing.

Trauma, whether from childhood or recent experiences, can significantly impact our ability to process grief. Marina sheds light on how past trauma can resurface during times of loss, leading to feelings of stuckness and overwhelm. She emphasizes the importance of addressing these underlying wounds to facilitate the healing process.

Our nervous system plays a crucial role in our emotional well-being. Marina explains how chronic stress and unresolved grief can lead to a state of fight, flight, or freeze, hindering our ability to regulate emotions. By learning techniques to calm the nervous system, we can create a safe space for grief to surface and be processed.

Marina shares practical somatic techniques that women over 40 and 50 can incorporate into their daily lives. These techniques include breathwork, movement, and mindfulness practices that can help regulate the nervous system, reduce tension, and promote emotional release.

Grief can be a deeply isolating experience. Marina emphasizes the importance of seeking support from others who understand what you're going through. Whether it's joining a support group or connecting with like-minded individuals, building a community can provide invaluable comfort and understanding.

By understanding the somatic aspects of grief and incorporating practical techniques into your healing journey, you can empower yourself to navigate loss with greater resilience and compassion. Remember, healing takes time, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Be gentle with yourself, seek support, and embrace the transformative power of somatic healing.

CONTACT DETAILS

● Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/yourembodiedbiz/ 

https://www.instagram.com/marina.y.t/
● LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/marina-yanay-triner/

● Website www.marinayt.com 

● Website www.somashare.com

● Book Recommendation https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29496453-the-book-of-joy

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Transcript

(0:00) Grief is most often referred to as deep sorrow, (0:04) especially that caused by death. (0:06) By definition, it is the response to loss. (0:09) When we talk about grieving, (0:11) we often immediately think of death, (0:13) but let's also acknowledge and respect other major losses (0:17) in the consideration of grief.(0:19) These may include situations such as loss of a job, (0:23) physical or emotional estrangement from family members, (0:26) partners or friendships, financial or material losses, (0:31) severe illness or injuries such as limb loss, (0:34) chronic pain or terminal disease diagnosis, (0:38) the relinquishment or removal of power or position. (0:41) These are all circumstances of loss that can cause grief. (0:45) Today, we are going to talk to Marina, (0:48) a renowned somatic coach who has supported thousands (0:52) to move through what she calls stuckness, (0:55) through profoundly transformative body-based approaches (0:59) that go to the deep roots, (1:02) addressing triggers, emotional healing (1:04) and nervous system regulation.(1:06) All of these supporting the process of healing from grief. (1:11) Welcome to Positively Purposed. (1:14) I'm your host and Holistic Life Coach, Nina Dana-Lee, (1:18) inviting you to a space where we talk about real life (1:21) with real people who share real stories, (1:25) either experts in their fields or expertly experienced.(1:29) They're giving you the goods (1:30) that you never even realized you needed (1:32) during this amazing midlife phase of our lives. (1:36) So let's get motivated, educated and you know what? (1:39) Let's just get started. (1:41) So welcome Marina to Positively Purposed.(1:44) I am so excited to have you on the podcast today (1:47) hosting talks about grief. (1:50) Thank you so much for joining us. (1:53) Thank you for having me.(1:55) Absolutely. (1:56) Well, you have quite a history (1:59) and quite a education and experience (2:03) with regards to somatic practices, (2:06) which is something that I haven't gotten (2:09) very much information of one-on-one. (2:11) So this is actually going to be very informative (2:14) and educational for me as well.(2:15) So I'm very much looking forward to our chat. (2:18) But just to kind of get everyone, (2:21) I guess, in the mindset of somatic healing, (2:24) can you start by explaining what grief is (2:27) from a somatic perspective and how it manifests in the body? (2:31) Yeah, it's so funny. (2:31) You said, get everyone in the mindset (2:33) and I'm like, let's get everyone in the body.(2:38) It's part of the body, it's true. (2:40) But you know, in somatics, (2:42) we really look at how information flows (2:46) from the body to the mind, (2:47) which is 80% of information flows that way. (2:51) So that's why it's really, (2:53) if you wanna work with the unconscious (2:55) and the subconscious layers, (2:57) that's where we go into the body, (2:59) into sensations and emotions that live in the body.(3:02) And with grief, it's really a sense of tightness (3:07) and heaviness. (3:09) And as we kind of hold on to grief, (3:12) it can change our posture, it can change our digestion. (3:16) So it really affects our heart, our lungs, (3:20) like so many parts of our body where we hold it.(3:24) That's really interesting. (3:26) Cause I don't know that we always connect the dots. (3:30) You know what I mean? (3:31) Sometimes we see things from one perspective (3:33) and we don't necessarily connect the dots.(3:35) So it's really interesting to hear it described differently. (3:39) Absolutely. (3:40) Many people feel stuck in their grief.(3:43) How does trauma play a role in this (3:46) and how can somatic practices (3:48) help to release stored grief? (3:51) I think this is an awesome question (3:53) because anytime we use that word stuck, (3:56) I think it's pointing us to trauma. (3:59) It's pointing us to like a deeper layer (4:01) that we're not accessing. (4:03) And with grief, it's always compounded.(4:07) So when there's grief in your life, (4:10) when something difficult happens (4:13) and you have grief in your life (4:15) and then you feel stuck in that, (4:16) like it's hard for it to sort of flow (4:18) because emotions are meant to flow through us like water. (4:22) It means there's a deeper layer that you haven't accessed. (4:26) So maybe there's a trauma in your childhood (4:29) that you haven't felt through.(4:31) Sometimes, I think very often when I work with clients, (4:34) it's kind of something that they don't expect. (4:38) Like for example, in their early, early childhood, (4:41) it's something that they didn't receive (4:44) or that they received too much of. (4:48) And when we think of too much, (4:50) that takes us into abuse, right? (4:53) Like violence and abuse.(4:55) And when we think of too little, we think of neglect. (4:58) I find the neglect piece, (5:01) I mean, most people who come to me, honestly, (5:03) we work a lot with the neglect piece (5:05) because the abuse is quite normalized (5:08) in a way in our society. (5:09) Like if a child is abused (5:11) or if someone experiences abuse, (5:13) it's quite normal that we process that or we talk about it.(5:18) Like it's not a secret, it's out there. (5:20) Oh, it can be a secret, but it's out there. (5:22) It's known that this is not okay.(5:24) But when we talk about neglect, (5:26) like not receiving enough love, (5:29) not receiving enough support, (5:31) nurturing presence of our parents, (5:34) it's kind of hard to measure. (5:36) It's very individual. (5:37) Someone more sensitive, for example, (5:39) I feel like they're gonna need more of that.(5:42) They're gonna need a different flavor of it, (5:44) a different recognition. (5:46) And when they don't feel that (5:47) or they don't feel seen or heard as children, (5:50) that doesn't position their parents as they are bad. (5:54) It just is, huh, yeah, that actually hurt.(5:59) Like there's grief around that. (6:01) Whereas the abuse, (6:03) it's quite easy for us to say they are bad, right? (6:06) So when we don't say they are bad, (6:08) it's so challenging to acknowledge our pain (6:11) because no, everybody did their best. (6:15) I mean, I would always argue that everybody does their best, (6:18) but in that situation, it's quite clear.(6:20) Like everybody did their best, (6:21) but they didn't do well enough for us, (6:23) for what we needed. (6:25) And that's where the deepest grief is often found. (6:28) And then it actually surfaces or gets triggered (6:32) when we go through grief later in life.(6:36) And we get stuck if we don't address that part. (6:40) Go back to the beginning to fix the end. (6:43) Yes, I like that.(6:46) Can you walk us through the connection (6:48) between the nervous system and emotional healing (6:51) when it comes to grief? (6:52) So it's very interesting because we have the core emotions. (6:57) And by the way, I find it so interesting (7:00) that whenever we feel grief, rage, or terror as an adult, (7:05) and particularly with grief, like nobody died, right? (7:08) Or there was no ending, but we just feel grief. (7:12) That is pointing to the past.(7:15) We're actually reacting to the past (7:18) because nothing is happening, right? (7:21) So we have these core emotions (7:24) and sadness is part of the core emotions, (7:27) but then we also have defensive, defense emotions, (7:32) like anxiety and shame and guilt. (7:37) And those often come up in our nervous system. (7:41) Like we would go into fight or flight, (7:42) or we would go into freeze.(7:44) When you say someone is stuck, (7:45) typically they're in fight, flight, or freeze. (7:48) Like all of the time, they're never present. (7:51) They're never settled.(7:53) If they're going through grief (7:54) and they don't have the tools to manage it, (7:57) and they're not processing it, (7:58) like actually feeling it in small amounts, (8:01) because I would not recommend for you (8:04) to just sit and feel it all day long. (8:06) That would actually probably trigger fight, flight, (8:10) or freeze because our nervous system (8:12) actually protects us from too much emotion, (8:17) from emotions that feel too big, (8:20) because that feels like, oh my God, (8:22) something actually really unsafe is happening, (8:25) so I need to protect myself. (8:27) So that's where that happens.(8:29) And a lot of people end up there (8:31) because they're not actually processing this grief. (8:34) It's hard. (8:35) It's hard work.(8:36) We don't have the tools. (8:38) It's not normalized, right? (8:40) So we would go into fight, flight, or freeze to really, (8:43) like our system does it automatically. (8:45) It's not like, oh yes, (8:46) I'm gonna go into fight, flight, or freeze, right? (8:50) To protect ourselves, to go through life better in a way.(8:55) So it's helpful, but then we also feel stuck. (8:58) And a lot of other functions have issues. (9:02) For example, digestion, immune system, (9:04) all of this is connected.(9:06) So this is happening. (9:08) You cannot digest your food well (9:09) when you're in fight, flight, or freeze. (9:11) Your energy is going to survival.(9:14) That's really interesting because, (9:16) and that's what happens a lot of times, (9:17) and you feel sick to your stomach, (9:19) and you get these horrible nauseating feelings (9:22) and things when you're holding onto it. (9:24) It's stuck, and you literally feel sick. (9:28) And it's like you make yourself sick (9:30) from holding onto that.(9:32) Can you, what are some of the common physical symptoms? (9:36) I mean, we just talked about being sick, (9:38) but some of the other sensations (9:40) that people might experience (9:41) when they're holding onto unresolved grief, (9:44) but even more so if they don't realize (9:47) that that is actually what is happening. (9:49) A lot of tension, and tightness, (9:52) and heavy, like heavy feeling, (9:55) and shortness of breath. (9:57) You know, it's like hard, (9:58) and we all can identify with that.(10:01) It's hard to take a deep breath. (10:04) And over time, you can imagine a human (10:08) who is having a hard time taking a deep breath, (10:11) so they have shallow breathing. (10:12) So basically they're putting their body into fight or flight (10:15) because that's, we breathe shallow (10:17) when we're running away from danger, so that makes sense.(10:21) And then they have all this tension, (10:24) and heaviness, and tightness. (10:25) Their posture changes. (10:27) Their shoulders often roll forward (10:29) because they're in protection mode.(10:32) Like they want to get small, right? (10:35) They don't wanna open up. (10:36) That's vulnerable. (10:38) And over time, all of that tension (10:40) just gets worse, and worse, and worse.(10:42) And they are just chronically tight everywhere. (10:46) And so, I mean, myself included, I identify. (10:49) So many people are like, (10:51) oh, I'm going to go to physical therapy.(10:54) I'm going to stretch. (10:55) And that's like telling your body, let's fix this. (10:58) You have a physical issue, let's fix it.(11:01) But you don't have a physical issue. (11:04) Possibly, right? (11:04) This is what we're talking about. (11:07) Let's say you go to the doctor, (11:08) and they're like, literally, (11:08) you don't have a physical issue.(11:11) Stretching is not gonna help, (11:12) and it's gonna tell your brain something's wrong. (11:15) Keep trying to fix it. (11:17) Instead of checking in, how do I feel? (11:20) And that's scary for so many people.(11:22) Checking in can definitely be scary (11:24) because you start tapping into the things (11:26) that you don't wanna deal with, (11:27) especially if it's unresolved issues, unresolved trauma, (11:31) and things that you just haven't touched, (11:33) haven't addressed, haven't sat with, haven't healed. (11:36) And then when all of a sudden you're faced with it, (11:39) it's like, oh my God. (11:41) Like, you know, it can be very, (11:43) it can actually increase the trauma feeling (11:45) of not having dealt with these things.(11:48) What are some simple somatic practices or techniques (11:53) that can help someone begin to process and heal their grief? (11:57) Yeah, I would say creating safety is really important. (12:02) So that will help us reduce that fear, (12:07) like this is going to be awful. (12:09) I cannot manage this, it's too much.(12:11) And you just said something so important. (12:13) Yes, it's true. (12:14) If you dive into that grief, (12:16) it can actually be re-traumatizing, (12:18) like it can recreate the trauma (12:20) as if it's happening now again and again.(12:23) So if we create safety in the body, (12:27) and I really recommend, you know, (12:29) if somebody is dealing with this for so long, (12:31) for years and years, (12:33) I really recommend going to a practitioner (12:36) that really understands the nervous system (12:39) because as you regulate your nervous system, (12:43) and regulating means you become more present (12:45) and you feel more safe, (12:47) you are becoming present with your grief, right? (12:50) So everything is gonna come to the surface (12:53) and someone really knowledgeable (12:54) will be able to help you access it in small chunks. (13:00) So like one of the practices, (13:01) so, okay, let's talk about regulation. (13:03) I have co-founded an app called SomaShare (13:06) and there are so many amazing practices (13:09) on there for regulation.(13:11) But regulation is really like connecting (13:13) to your kind of animal self. (13:15) It's using breath, sound and movement to create safety (13:20) and to actually feel that in your body. (13:22) So if you're not feeling safe, (13:24) if you're in fight, flight or freeze, (13:26) and I tell you, you're safe, right? (13:28) There's no tiger, like you're fine.(13:30) You're like, I get it in my brain, (13:32) but I don't feel it in my body. (13:34) I'm actually in survival mode right now. (13:36) So what you need to do is you need to use these practices (13:40) and feel them, like feel the change of your state (13:44) and then the grief will surface.(13:46) So what we do with that is actually give it (13:49) very little space at first, very, very little, (13:52) just like, hi, I see you, okay. (13:55) And then I come back to look, for example, resourcing, (14:01) it's called resourcing practice. (14:03) One of the practices for regulating (14:05) is looking at something beautiful (14:07) and just feeling that in your body (14:09) and really focusing on how does it feel inside.(14:12) So coming back to that. (14:14) So it's really a very gentle thing that we do very slowly. (14:19) And I would actually say to people dealing (14:22) with a lot of grief, it's really important (14:24) to have a good balance between accessing your grief (14:27) and numbing out consciously, like reading a novel, (14:31) watching a show, right? (14:33) Like just getting your mind away from it (14:36) to give yourself that space and do that consciously.(14:40) Like I will sit with it, (14:42) but I'm gonna do it in very small, small chunks. (14:45) So that's a part of it. (14:46) And then going deeper, I know you said like how to start, (14:50) but for me it's like, okay, but how, (14:52) where do we go from there, right? (14:54) Going deeper is actually also uncovering (14:58) what is being triggered for you.(14:59) So let's say you're going through a breakup (15:02) or someone passed away (15:04) and you're just like stuck in that for so long. (15:07) It's really connecting with what else is being triggered (15:10) from your childhood. (15:12) Because as you work through that piece (15:15) and the emotions around it, (15:16) then the present grief is actually going to feel (15:19) a bit lighter and not so huge and unbearable.(15:24) So that is going to be really important as well. (15:27) Well, it's really interesting (15:28) because I'm sure most people don't connect present grief (15:32) with past grief or past trauma or past incidences. (15:36) And they look at it as an isolated, (15:38) oh, this happened to me right now.(15:40) I just got fired or I just broke up (15:42) or I just had an accident. (15:44) And they don't really connect the feelings (15:47) that are triggered or the emotions that are triggered (15:49) with anything in the past. (15:50) So it's really interesting to hear that connection (15:53) and how you have to address that, (15:56) the initial trauma and the current trigger.(16:01) Because it's, yeah, even though they're both grief related. (16:03) Yeah, there's this one, such a brilliant quote (16:07) from one of my mentors, Terry Real. (16:10) He's a couple therapist.(16:12) And he says, adults cannot be abandoned. (16:16) We can only be left. (16:18) Because as a child, you can be abandoned.(16:21) And abandonment means someone leaves and I die, right? (16:25) So as a child, like, of course that can happen. (16:27) That makes sense. (16:27) As an adult, if somebody leaves you, if your job leaves you, (16:31) if your partner leaves you, whatever, a friend, (16:33) you're not gonna die.(16:35) Right. (16:35) And so, but you feel like you are in a lot of cases. (16:39) And when you feel like you are, (16:41) this is where you check in to, (16:44) there is abandonment from childhood that is coming up here.(16:48) This can be from very early childhood (16:51) and you don't have memories of it. (16:53) And that's where somatics comes in (16:55) because you can't even explain it. (16:57) Or it can be even in the womb, I mean, or ancestral.(17:01) You know, for me, it's like very, very ancestral (17:03) because my grandma lost her mom in the Holocaust. (17:08) And her story has always been, (17:11) well, because I grew up without a mom. (17:13) That happened because I grew up without a mom.(17:15) You know, I was always alone (17:16) and I would hear that again, again, again. (17:18) And she never processed that, the emotions of that (17:23) because she was in true survival mode. (17:25) It wasn't like survival mode like us today, right? (17:29) When we go to, she was actually surviving her inner life.(17:33) So she never processed it. (17:35) My mom never processed it. (17:36) And so that's where I come in now.(17:39) Yeah, that generational grief. (17:42) Wow. (17:43) I know that grief can feel isolating (17:46) and many people don't know how to express it, (17:50) how to really get the support they need.(17:53) What advice would you give for navigating grief, (17:57) especially when you're feeling alone and unsupported? (18:00) I think we're in a very toxic age right now (18:03) where everybody is hyper-independent. (18:07) Like so many people are hyper-independent (18:10) and they're going into personal development (18:13) to feel empowered and be even more hyper-independent. (18:18) And they're not actually like seeking community.(18:21) And that is very vulnerable (18:23) when you're having these emotions. (18:25) And I think always, but especially when you're grieving. (18:29) But science says, this is pure science.(18:34) The first way that you learn to regulate your nervous system (18:37) is through co-regulation. (18:39) And co-regulation happens between a baby and the mom. (18:43) So the baby cannot, you know better than me, (18:47) they scream, right? (18:49) Yes.(18:49) They're screaming. (18:50) They can't calm themselves down. (18:53) You're the one that helps them calm down.(18:55) And then you teach them, (18:56) this is how you do it when you're an adult. (18:58) This is how they learn. (19:00) Now, of course, if the mom is stressed (19:02) and survival mode, all these things, (19:03) it's gonna be a different story.(19:05) But that's how the child learns. (19:08) And so one of, we have three pathways (19:11) as adults for regulation. (19:13) Yes, one is these practices that we do.(19:15) Second one is called auto-regulation (19:19) where we watch a movie, go for a walk, (19:21) kind of distract and zone out. (19:23) And the third one, it's actually one of the best ones (19:26) is co-regulation, which is being with another nervous system (19:31) where we feel seen, heard, understood, and safe (19:34) and present, join a support group, share with a friend, (19:40) like have that heart to heart. (19:42) A lot of my clients are survivors (19:45) of childhood emotional neglect.(19:47) So they have a lot of fear around vulnerability. (19:50) That's one of the main things we work on. (19:53) And I understand it and I have lived it (19:56) and it's not that I don't have it anymore.(20:01) It's still present for me. (20:04) And so, yeah, it's challenging, but it's very worthwhile. (20:09) So speaking about co-regulation, (20:14) co-regulation is one of the most powerful ways (20:17) actually that people can create that safety inside (20:21) and move through this process actually faster.(20:25) And I understand the fear around vulnerability around this (20:29) because a lot of my clients are survivors (20:32) of childhood emotional neglect and so am I. (20:35) And so being vulnerable feels really threatening (20:39) because in childhood, they felt very misunderstood. (20:42) Their emotions were ridiculed or totally neglected. (20:45) And that's what childhood emotional neglect is.(20:48) And so taking those baby steps to be vulnerable with friends (20:53) and I think the best thing is like joining a support group (20:58) of other people that are going through grief. (21:01) That's why they exist because they're so healing (21:04) and people can be in the company of others (21:09) whose nervous systems kind of understand each other (21:13) and then they feel so seen and heard and not alone anymore. (21:17) I think it's crucial.(21:20) That's very, yeah, yeah. (21:22) I can feel how that would support the process for sure. (21:27) And when you have other people that are going through it (21:29) and you don't feel that abandonment, (21:31) you don't feel that loneliness of, (21:33) it's just me going through this, (21:35) it's definitely a supportive system.(21:38) So how can someone create a safe environment for themselves (21:42) to heal from grief, (21:43) especially if they've experienced trauma in the past? (21:46) We've talked about community (21:48) and the community I think is mostly supportive (21:51) of the present trauma, but what about that past trauma? (21:55) Yeah, that's where working with a practitioner (21:58) is so important. (22:00) And that person can co-regulate with you (22:04) and it's especially if you feel like that person (22:06) is a safe person for you. (22:08) Typically people come to us as coaches (22:10) because they feel seen by us, they feel safe with us, (22:14) there's a resonance and that's why they come.(22:17) And so choosing someone like that (22:20) and making sure that, again, they understand the body, (22:23) the nervous system and they can, (22:26) I'm thinking of a client that I'm working with (22:29) who is a man, so I think for men, (22:32) it's even harder working with vulnerability. (22:36) Absolutely. (22:37) And right away, I said, (22:39) listen, it really makes sense (22:41) if it's hard for you to be vulnerable here, (22:44) if it's hard for you to cry, if you don't trust me, (22:47) you're not supposed to trust me, (22:48) we're just starting our relationship, right? (22:50) So one of the things that I often do with clients (22:53) is I give them options around our eye contact (22:57) and I say, do you want me to turn around? (22:59) Do you want to turn around? (23:00) Do you want us to turn our cameras off? (23:02) And if it's in person, same thing.(23:04) And they might think it's funny, but I'm like, (23:06) you know, I did that with my therapist (23:09) and it really changed things. (23:11) It made me feel like I have choice, (23:13) I'm in control and I feel safer. (23:16) And like building that relationship over time (23:18) and understanding that your relationship (23:21) with this practitioner, it's like a normal relationship (23:24) and you're gonna build it together over time, (23:27) you're gonna create it, (23:28) you're gonna create something more and more safe (23:30) and trustworthy and not going deep into the trauma (23:35) right away, but really building that safety together (23:38) and then doing it very, very slowly.(23:41) Because the way our nervous system works (23:43) is we build tolerance for working with our trauma (23:47) or for any challenging thing over time. (23:50) And that tolerance expands. (23:52) So oftentimes I tell my clients, okay, we're gonna, (23:56) you know, your trauma or your grief is a lake.(23:59) And now we're just very far from the lake (24:02) and we're just looking at it from far, far away. (24:05) Now we're gonna slowly start to walk towards it. (24:08) And as we walk towards it, (24:09) your body is gonna tell me how it feels.(24:14) So for example, if my clients feel all of a sudden anxious (24:19) as we're talking about something or processing something, (24:21) or if they're getting distracted, that's a huge thing. (24:24) Like, oh, I'm thinking about something else. (24:26) Sorry, I can't focus.(24:27) I'm like, okay, well, that's, don't apologize. (24:30) That's your body telling me that we need to back off. (24:33) We need to come back to regulating and feeling safe.(24:37) And then maybe we can come back to this. (24:39) That's how we build tolerance. (24:40) We never push through it.(24:42) We never kind of force a huge cry or catharsis. (24:46) It's like a very slow and gentle process. (24:50) It sounds very held.(24:56) I love that. (24:58) Well, Marina, you're a wealth of knowledge (25:02) and I am absolutely going to be sharing your information (25:07) below and also about the Somatic app (25:09) that you've created, SomaShare. (25:12) But I have one more question for you.(25:14) And it is a signature question to all my guests (25:18) and you can approach it from a Somatic coach perspective, (25:22) but how do you stay positive during challenging times? (25:27) I was always curious about this question. (25:31) For so long, because, you know, (25:33) I would hear the challenges are supposed to help us grow. (25:37) And I was like, okay, great, how do I do that? (25:39) Because I freeze when I have a challenge.(25:41) That was in the past. (25:43) And so I actually created a whole process around triggers (25:48) and that's how I stay positive. (25:50) It's not just being like, okay, I'm just gonna be positive.(25:54) Just think positive. (25:55) But it's actually, I go through what I teach my clients. (25:59) I notice that I'm triggered.(26:01) I notice that something is really hard, (26:03) like could be some of my triggers are money, (26:07) abandonment, rejection. (26:09) I think a lot of people can identify. (26:10) So when I noticed that in my own body, (26:13) I pause everything and I regulate.(26:16) I use those practices, which by the way, (26:19) Somashare has practices from all sorts of practitioners. (26:23) So it's really beautiful. (26:24) It's a compilation.(26:26) I use those practices and then I try to connect (26:30) with what is coming up from my past in that moment. (26:35) And then I connect with the emotion underneath (26:39) and I try to give myself the space (26:41) to feel it and express it. (26:43) And that's kind of my process.(26:45) But also, of course, leaning into my friends. (26:48) It's huge, huge, huge. (26:49) My community, my friends, where I can be truly vulnerable, (26:53) not just like surface level, but very vulnerable.(26:57) And I'm actually reading the book of joy right now, (27:01) which I highly recommend. (27:03) And what they speak about, (27:07) Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama, (27:10) they speak about connecting with other people suffering (27:15) and not in a way of, oh, other people have it worse than me, (27:18) but more in compassion. (27:19) Like we are all together in this moment.(27:23) Like let's say I lost someone, (27:25) someone else did too right now in this moment on the planet. (27:29) So I feel like really feeling that togetherness is so, (27:35) it brings joy in a way. (27:38) It brings peace and joy.(27:39) Thank you very much. (27:41) I think you have really tapped into quite a lot of options (27:46) and ways that people probably haven't looked (27:49) at grief before and healing. (27:52) And the perspective of a somatic coaches is very different (27:56) from that of different types of coaching (27:58) and even just average personality thoughts (28:01) of grief and loss.(28:02) So thank you so much for sharing your wisdom (28:05) and your knowledge. (28:07) We've only touched the surface, the tip of the iceberg, (28:10) but again, I am very grateful to have you here today (28:13) and we will share your information below (28:16) so people can check out your website. (28:17) And of course, Soma share the app (28:19) and we'll even put the book below a link to the book (28:23) so that if people would like to read that, (28:25) they can join us.